that's the fat lady you hear...

to the best of my counting ability (and granted, i went to public school, so we're talking probably a 3-5% margin of error here,) i have written 1257 blog posts, including this one, since april 14, 2002.  i just spent the last few days privating (it's a word) all of them, in preparation for archiving it all, and moving on. 

i didn't read all twelve-hundred-odd essays as i went through them, but i read some.  i skimmed many.  and i'm amazed by some of it - the deep, abiding, day-after-day unhappiness that was such an integral part of my life, of me, for a few years.  and like any pain, i remember feeling it, but i don't remember what it felt like.  those days are over; that person doesn't live here anymore. 

this blog, and some of the people i met through it, were at times the only things that got me through the day, and i will always, always be grateful for that.  i've gotten so many laughs here, and i hope i've given a few.  this is my first exercise in journaling that lasted beyond the first entry, and it represents the most complete record of any segment of my life, ever.  i have met a few people here who i plan to carry with me for the rest of my days, and that's a rare and dear thing. 

i had originally thought to keep this site going until my official fifth anniversary, but as i was commenting to someone this morning, dates are important to mark, but in the end, they're just squares on a calendar.  this blog really ended for me about a year ago, and i see no point in dragging it out another month, just for the sake of a number.  what i've gained here can't be quantified in terms of years or entries or comments or eprops anyway, but in days survived and made better, and in friends gained and laughs shared. 

i have loved this blog, and the people who helped make it what it is.  and i'm not planning to disappear; i'll be reading and commenting... and if i happen to show up somewhere else, i hope i run into you. 

thanks for everything, freaks.  it's been awesome.